Dec 21, 2009

Who Else Wants to Learn These Simple Steps on How to Save a Relationship?

Here is this scenario that many couples are facing: Robin spends long hours on his work everyday and Katherine doesn't feel that he is there for her. On the other hand, Katherine spends most of her time looking after the children and Robin feels that she doesn't give him enough attention to meet his needs. So you will ask "Can this relationship be saved?" Or "Should it be saved in the first place?" Of course! Every relationship is worth saving and the following are the steps on how to save a relationship.

The fundamental step to saving a relationship is to first decide on whether it is worth saving the relationship. While I pointed out that all relationships are worth saving, it is still important that both parties involve decide that they want to make it work. The reason is because, if a partner has chosen to opt out and does not want to get back in, then there is basically nothing you can do.

8 or 9 out of 10 people stay in a relationship because of some forceful reasons like "Do not want to be lonely" or "Because of the children". These are not sufficient reasons to want to stay in a relationship. Both parties must start with a commitment and love each other truly so that the relationship can be worth saving.

Next, it is essential for you to get to the root of the problems in a relationship. In fact, most couples do not know what is the root cause of the problem in a relationship. They merely look at the superficial aspect whereby the believe that the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For example, numerous people reckon that an affair is a problem that contributes to break ups. However, the truth is not this! The affair is actually a symptom of a deeper problem which is a lack of true intimacy that led the spouse to go astray. Most people look at relationship problems very superficially and think that an affair is the root cause of the break up. The truth is that there is an underlying cause that has led to the affair. This cause is the lack of intimacy in the relationship. If you cannot resolve this problem of lacking in intimacy, then you are doomed to see yourself or your spouse keeping an affair outside of the relationship. Hence, it is important to address the root cause of the problem which is the lack of intimacy in the relationship.

My strong advise is that, if you can deal with the root issues rather than the symptoms, then you are on the right track to save the relationship.

Once you have discovered what is the core problems in the relationship, you should express your own feelings to your love partner and listen to his or her concerns closely. One trick to give your love partner a good feeling is to hold his or her hand when you are talking about the problems. By doing so, you are signaling to your love partner that you want to reconnect with him or her sincerely. However, you have to learn to accept what your love partner will say in return. If he or she talks about things that hurt you, you must bear in mind that your love partner are saying it because he or she wants to improve the relationship and not because they want to hurt you.

When both of you have talked it out and realized what is the root cause of the relationship problem, then both of you should come out with an action plan to resolve the issue. Take concrete steps on your action plan. For example, if both of you seldom spend time together during the weekends, plan a date and go out together every week. Both of you must take turns in coming up with interesting ways to spend a day together or simply get involve in some activities together. If communication is the problem, both of you should commit to spending time talking with each other just before going to bed. And you have better do it if you really want to save the relationship.

Last but not least, you should take note that saving a relationship cannot be a hasty affair, it is in fact an ongoing process. Both of you are going to walk down this lifetime journey together and there are bound to be rough routes and smooth routes. Learn to enjoy each other's company while going through good times together, and learn to compromise each other while going through rough times together. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Are you still asking "Is my relationship worth saving?" If so, I have already answered you in this article and I would strongly encourage you to stop procrastinating and start your plans on how to save a relationship.

Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?Who-Else-Wants-to-Learn-These-Simple-Steps-on-How-to-Save-a-Relationship?&id=3252624

No comments:

Post a Comment