Dec 11, 2009

Who Else Wants to Know How to Get an Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

8 or 9 out of 10 people in their life will go through a breakup in their love relationship. Indeed, this is a difficult scenario that most people do not want to fall into. However, the more you think it would not happen to you, the easier it does happen to you. As with so many breakups, it is never an easy thing for people to go through. In fact, a breakup can be one of the most painful scenario to be in.

Usually after a breakup, most people will want to quickly get their ex back. But this is not the way to go if you really want to reconcile your relationship. Even if the relationship is actually unhealthy, these people still desire to get their ex back. My advise is that you should not try to get back with your ex if they ever use physical violence or verbal abuse to hurt you. That in reality is never a healthy relationship. If you happen to be in this scenario and your ex broke up with you, then you should count yourself lucky to leave him or her.

Most people do not realize how a relationship actually works in the long run. Initially, when you first met him or her, everything is wonderful and new for both of you. You believe that he or she can do no wrong and you can also do no wrong in their eyes. However, after the initial romance dies off, both of you will start seeing each other shortcomings and start to complain about each other. In this case, if you want the relationship to work in the long run, both of you must adjust to each other. Once the newness is gone, the relationship will proceed into the next phases. Both of you must be willing to work hands in hands to make the relationship work in the long-term. If these are things that you do not like or even want to cope with, then I suggest that you do not get back with your ex again.

There is a saying: "Familiarity breeds contempt." How true can these words be for all relationships! Once a couple has got passed the initial stages of comfort and familiarity with each other, the trouble will usually set in. And in fact, this is exactly what tests the strength of any relationships. A relationship takes a lot of effort to maintain it. Most of the time, when the relationship does not work in one's favor, the person will want to get out of it completely.

Nonetheless, never believe that your relationship will be over once both of you have broken up. Hope is always there and it is up to you to go and grab it. Despite it being over, your relationship is worth saving even if the other person do not want to make any effort. The following are four steps that you can take on how to get your ex back again.

1. Make a sincere apology

Making an apology to your ex is the stepping stone on how to get your ex back. Although it cannot be the most effective ways to get your ex back, it is the first step to reconcile a relationship. Bear in mind that you must say sorry through your true heart and sincerity. Usually after a breakup, you might be eager to blame yourself or your ex for everything. But remember, it takes two persons to build a successful relationship. Hence, you should take the first step to apologize to him or her. It will only do you good to saving your relationship.

One thing that I want to point up when saying sorry to your ex is that, never let it baits you into an argument. In this case, I meant that even if your ex becomes aggressive and starts to blame you for the breakup, do not get defensive. Simply stay calm and control your emotions and ego. You must remember that even if your ex is not making effort to reconcile the relationship, you alone can still contribute to a big part of saving the relationship.

2. Sit down and talk things out

If your ex agrees to sit down with you and talk things out, then go ahead and arrange a time and venue with him or her. Always bear in mind that you should never beg, plead, cry or even force your ex into this arrangement of meeting up to talk things out. You need to give him the discretion to decide whether he or she wants to meet you up. If they do agree, you must remember to keep your emotions in check. Note that this is not the time for both of you to argue or go into a fight again. Let your ex know that you are here to reconcile the relationship and not to bring blame into the discussion.

Bear in mind that you are here to talk things amicably with your ex. Learn to be objective and talk only things that will contribute to saving the relationship. In fact, you can even arrange a therapist or a counselor who specializes in the field of relationship to help both of you in the discussion.

3. Give your ex and yourself some space

This method may seem "not that useful" to you but it is actually one of the best ways to get your ex back. You have to learn to give your ex some space and time to think about the relationship. It is crucial for him or her to find the space to cool themselves down. In fact, a brief period of separation can contribute greatly to winning him or her back. In addition, it is during this brief time away from each other, that your ex will start to miss you badly. If you are always clinging onto your ex all the time, you are not giving him or her the chance to miss you!

4. Show them you can take care of yourself

Give your ex the impression that you can take good care of yourself. If you always appear desperate and needy in front of them, you will never win your ex back. In addition, if you sit at home all day just to wait for them to call you or text you, you are not doing yourself any favors too. Go out and enjoy some time with your best friends. Watch a movie or go for a concert. Whatever you do, simply do not contact your ex for a brief period. Just get your butts up and go live your own life for the time being.

In fact, this method has worked wonders for many people in trying to win an ex back. If you are there at home and your ex calls, simply do not answer the call for the time being. This will make your ex wonders what are you doing. If you are out in town and your handphone rings and it is your ex, restraint yourself from answering the call. Simply wait until the next day to give them a call back. Let your ex knows that you are just busy and did not have the time to answer his or her call. This technique will work out in the long run as it creates a sense of mystery around you and make your ex interested to know how you are and what you are doing. In most cases, this method can even make your ex to want to win you back on the other way round.

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